I have learned that I am not indestructible. After 'taking it easy' my Junior year to focus on grades, I wanted my senior year to be a time to take part in things I didn't have the chance to do before. I joined Servite's FIRST Robotics team, I made sure to take painting class, and on top of that, I joined AWE because I enjoy singing. Softball season just started as well, a lovely addition to the collection. This year was the first time I could logistically add all of these activities, and so I made the mistake of adding them all. A little time here and there is fine, but the thing I miscalculated the impact of was the aligned 'seasons' for virtually every activity. Robot building started in January, Softball starts in February, weekday games mid Feb-May, weekend competitions in March and April, AP testing and graduation in May. For three out of five weekdays, my day begins at just before six, singing at 7, classes until 3, softball until 5, then robotics until 8, some days 11. I'm not stating all of my extracurriculars to try and impress you, showing that I can manage all of these great things. The truth is that I am not managing. I'm over a week behind in some classes and just mentioning that to myself makes me want to crawl back into the cave that is my room. My going to bed at 2:30 and expecting to hear my 6:00 alarm is simply delusional. Yet I still do it because, hey, It's worked before right? Just because I spend a lot of time with robots shouldn't mean I need to make myself into one. I need to rest, I need to spend time relaxing and socializing, and the 'glitches' that make it difficult to move or make me have little to no motivation to do simple things like brush my teeth can't be solved by writing over the code or reinstalling the operating system. I have learned that I am not unbreakable. That I need to cut back on at least one activity. Not necessarily quit, but need to stop letting other's expectations and hopes for me dictate what I do, especially when it ends up chipping away at my mental and physical health.
1 Comment
Morris
3/12/2020 02:25:08 pm
A difficult lesson, hard learned. Good on you for recognizing it early. You'll get it together!
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AuthorIdeas, emotions, rants, and brain dumps from a teen with ADHD. Each post generally unformatted just like my mind. Archives
May 2020
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